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Hey Reader,

A lot of men who read this are exhausted.

Some are coasting, others are numb. Many are collecting insights and hoping one finally makes a dent.

Experience tells me that a good bit of them feel like they’re doing everything right, but still stuck with a life that doesn’t feel like their own.

If that’s where you are, I get it. I spent a long time there too, living in flat-out hopelessness.

I couldn’t imagine things changing, and I had more than a little anxiety that I might die before ever getting to feel alive.

And what made that so frustrating was that I was doing what I thought was right.
I gave everything I had to those around me.
My wife. My kids. My work. My community.

Every ounce of my time and energy went into being dependable, useful, and good at my assigned roles of husband, father, brother, son, colleague, and friend.

And... I was disappearing.

What I wasn’t doing was taking care of myself. I had been raised to see it as selfish and my endless sacrifice as noble and manly.
So, naturally, I wasn’t investing in the things that filled me personally.
I wasn’t building a life that included me. My life became about everyone else having a good life.

I spent almost no time on my body.
I created little space for creativity.
I didn't give myself permission to say, “This matters to me and I’m doing it because I’m a man who matters.”

This week, as my community focuses on the theme of Legacy, I’ve been revisiting a question that always tells the truth:

What am I giving my time and money to that will never come back?

Not someday.
Not when life settles down.
Right now.

If you want to know what kind of life you’re actually building, pull out your calendar and your bank statement. It doesn't lie. These show a fella where his real legacy is taking shape.

Scroll the last 90 days.
Look ahead to the next 30.
Ask yourself:

Where is my time going?
Where is my money going?

Because wherever they’re going, that’s the life you’re actually building. That’s the legacy you’re leaving, whether you mean to or not.

And if your answer is “everyone else but me,” that matters, especially if we’re fathers.

Because our kids aren’t learning from our good intentions. They’re learning from our patterns.

If they see us constantly emptying ourselves, they won’t remember our devotion.
They’ll remember our depletion.

If they see us walking on eggshells to keep the peace, they won’t call it maturity.
They’ll call it fear and cowardice.

If they see you surrender your longings for things like the longing for connection and intimacy, they’ll bury their own.
Like you, they’ll convince themselves it’s sacrifice.
They’ll tell themselves it’s what strong men do.
But it won’t be sacrifice, unless you mean the kind made at the altar of comfort and avoidance.
It will be resignation, dressed up as "responsibility."

Like you, they won’t feel strong.
Like you, they’re life will become a white-knuckled focus on survival.
Like you, they’ll carry it silently, convincing themselves this is just what it means to be a man.
And like you, they’ll live that way, too..disconnected, dutiful, and quietly dying inside.

That’s not leadership.
That’s martyrdom.

And it’s not the legacy I want to leave.
I don’t think it’s the one you want either.

So here’s what I’ve been asking myself again, and what I’d invite you to ask too:

• Does my calendar reflect the man I enjoy being, and who, when I'm gone, I want to be remembered as?
• Does my bank account tell the story of a man who matters to himself?
• Am I building relationships that nourish me, or only managing the ones that drain me?
• Am I spending my time and money in a way that keeps me alive? Or just keeps me afloat?

Because this isn’t about being selfish.
It’s about being whole.
It’s about reclaiming our own name in the story we’re writing.

We weren’t put here to be tools.
We’re not just ATMs, fix-it men, or emotional sherpas.

We are men.
And we were made to be alive.

If you’ve been missing in your own life, I want to remind you of something:

You’re still here.
You still matter.
And you still get to decide what kind of man you’re becoming.

But the story doesn’t change until you change it.
Not your wife.
Not your boss.
Not your kids.

No one is coming to make your life feel like it matters.
No one will value you more than you value yourself.
No one will care for you more deeply than you're willing to demonstrate, through your time, your energy, your money, your choices.

So put yourself on your calendar.
Put yourself in your budget.
Then live like your life matters, because it does.
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And no one else can live it for you.

— Sven

P.S. If you’re ready to take a first step toward living like you matter, join us inside the Masterful Men community.

This isn’t a place for performance or pretending.
It’s where men practice showing up for themselves and for each other.
It’s where you’ll find real conversations, real brotherhood, and real traction.

When you start honoring your time, your energy, and your story, everything shifts.
Your presence deepens.
Your relationships become more grounded.
You stop leaking energy and start building something solid.

You can start with a 7-day free trial and use the code LEAVESOMETHING for 15% off your first 24 months.

Basecamp Membership Stop drifting. Start leading. Build strength, brotherhood, and momentum inside Masterful Men. Subscribe$175.00 USD/quarter

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You don’t have to keep living from the margins of your own life.
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This is your invitation to take your place at the center.